€1 quality pork meal

[Fred]

Mrs Fred bungy jumping I hope she's not launching herself off the viaduct at L'Isle Jourdain which always looked rather dangerous to me.

Especially the overly refreshed old bloke in a rowing boat whose mission it is to rescue you from the dunking you've just received because they don't weigh or measure the height of their "victims" sorry.....customers.

Surely Mrs Fred could take up knitting yoghurt sandals or a bit of light line dancing? Foot stomping to a blast of hideous Grand Old Opry must be safer.

Oh no she's not got that far yet, this is her second year and she is still at the harness fitting stage. She tells me the young man doing the training is very helpful with helping her get the harness on, but says she really should be moving up through the course a bit by now, but she still thinks she needs more time to get the harness fitting right.

I just can't stop her, she keeps saying she doesn't want to feel old. Line Dancing would be out of the question, she prefers Break Dancing. And as for knitting, no thanks I have enough string vests, underpants, & socks, left over from her last attempt. She even knitted me a Colourful String Thong for the summer, it would have fitted 30 years ago but when I tried it on I couldn't get it past my ..................................... Oh hang on the phone is ringing, Must Go